QUIET DAYS IN CLICHE . . . 2

More dead as a doornail definitions from sporting scribedom:

Shotstopper: Custodians begat goalkeepers who in their turn begat 'keepers who now, seemingly, have their own subdivisional description of their trade. Keepers now either command their areas or are specialist "shotstoppers". Like left-footed or right-footed players, they can't do both.

Temperamental: Generic description of foreign-born competitiors. As in "Latin temperament". Tagged on virtually everyone from South and Latin America, Italy and Spain who questions a decision, a line call, or who commits a foul.

Flying winger: Despite their name, wingers definitely can't fly. They may be able to run very fast, but here's the nub: THEIR FEET ARE ON THE GROUND.

Model professional: Boring bastard who doesn't drink and goes to bed before midnight.

Half-time cup of tea: Managers and coaches somehow manage to formulate great, game-changing tactical coups over the interval "cuppa". The match reporter, of course, hasn't a clue what was said that changed a half-time deficit into a winning lead, but knows the communal brew definitely played some part in it. As in: "Whatever Sir Alex said over the half-time cup of tea certainly did the trick." Or, occasionally: "Whatever Sir Alex put in his players' half-time cup of tea certainly did the trick."
Quite why the UK Tea Council hasn't hit on this as the perfect marketing ploy escapes me.

The Road to Wembley: Often with the supplement "starts here" and employed by every local sports journo from Bishop Auckland down to Barnet. Any user of this hackneyed piece of nonsense should be made to walk all the way.

Exclusive: Something we paid for.

More to follow . . .